Fictional gay romantic farce. Any similarity to living or dead persons is coincidental. Copyright for this story is held by the author known as DesDownunder at email@example.com Personal one off copies are permitted for private, non-commercial use. Any copying or use of this story or any portion of it that renders anyone monetary gain or profit in any form is prohibited without written permission of the author.
See more poems and stories by DesDownUnder at Codey's World: http://www.codeysworld.com/desdownunder/
“Dale, when are you going to tell your parents about us?” He asked the naked hunk lying alongside him.
“I don’t know, Brad. I want to tell them but it is so hard,” replied Dale. “I get cold feet whenever I think about doing it.”
“Yeah, well if your feet are cold, it is because your blood has all gone and pumped itself into making you hard. But that is not what we are talking about, is it?”
“No, it isn’t,” laughed Dale, “But Brad, it’s not just my parents. What about telling yours?”
“Mine?” said Brad, “Well, I nearly told them for Christmas, but I chickened out at the last minute.”
“You make it sound like a bad Christmas present.”
“That’s kind of the way I thought about it.”
The two boys lay there alongside each other in post-orgasmic discussion.
Their friendship had really grown over the last year. They had discovered each other in the swimming carnival at high school when they were changing out of their swimsuits. They were both aroused as they took them off. Brad had spoken first as he looked at Dale’s excitement, “You too?” he had asked, as he peeled his Speedos off to reveal his own similar swimmer’s build.
Dale stared at his schoolmate. His eyes zoomed down Brad’s body and locked onto his telescoping features. “You mean?” asked Dale, “You are?”
“I’d say we are both are,” said Brad with a blush, “would you like to….”
“Yes,” Dale interrupted, “I would, very much. Want to sleep over at my place tonight?”
“I’d really like that. I’ll just get the parental seal of approval and see you at your place.”
“I’d better ask my folks too,” said Dale.
Their eyes never met; they were too busy focussing on the object of their attraction. After several months, they had at last discovered they each had other attributes that were more than either had imagined possible. They were in love now; puppy love, young love perhaps, but it was still love.
“What’s the matter, Dale?” Brad asked, as Dale stirred out of his thoughts.
“I just wish I had the courage to tell my folks about us, about me being gay, but I am frightened. I know they love me, but if they threw me out, what would I do?’
“I feel the same, but I don’t think they would throw us out. My dad has a terrible temper, but it doesn’t last long. We might have to put up with a scene of mayhem, shrieking, and violence, but they will calm down, eventually.”
“Eventually?” Dale said, turning over and hanging his head over the side of the bed, “I don’t think I could take it if they went on about it for too long.”
Whilst the boys were chatting, they didn’t realise that Dale’s older sister came home just in time for her to overhear Brad say to Dale, “Look Dale, you’re gay. You’ve known it forever. You told me how you were never interested in girls, and your parents will have to accept it sooner or later.”
“Yes, that’s true. I just don’t want them to hate me.”
“I understand what you’re saying. I don’t want mine to hate me either, but we can’t change who we are or how we feel about each other. We’re nearly seventeen; we know what we want.”
“Yes, we do,” said Dale, “and I want you.”
Patricia listened carefully and was about to enter the room to tell Dale that their parents already knew, when she heard Brad say, “Come here, lover-boy, throw your naked body over mine and give me some lovin’.”
Wrong time to interrupt them, thought Patricia, I’ll talk to them later. Her curiosity, however, kept her at the door, listening.
“Now tell me again you love me,” said Brad.
Patricia smiled to herself.
“You know I do, Brad, and you also know we have to tell them, but when?”
“What about tomorrow morning? My folks are coming over for a barbecue lunch. It would be perfect. We could tell them together.”
“You think that would be wise? What if they tip us both out onto the street? Where would we go?”
“They won’t tip us both out, I’m sure of it. Anyway, we would have each other. I’d look after you.”
“Would you?” asked Dale. “Would you do that for me?”
“I’d do anything for you Dale, you know that.”
Patricia tiptoed past the slightly open door into her own room. She had heard enough. She needed to think how she could help her little brother. She would take a nap; she always thought better when she slept.
Brad sat up in bed and looked at Dale. He leaned over and kissed him on the lips. “I just thought of something.”
“What?” asked Dale.
“Tomorrow is Sunday, April the first, April Fool’s Day.”
“Yeah, well so what?” said Dale.
“So what if we tell our folks together, tomorrow morning at the barbecue that we’re gay and in love? If they react really, badly we could just say it was an April Fools' Day joke,” Brad said, quite pleased with himself for thinking of the idea.
“What? How will that help?”
“Don’t you see? It gives us an out if they overreact or get threatening. We will be able to see if they can cope. If they can’t, we’ll know it’s best to back down by letting them think it’s a joke, an April Fools' Day prank.”
“Will that work?”
“Of course it will. You always play April Fools' Day jokes on your parents. They’ll think it is funny. Your parents are always cracking jokes and stuff.”
“I’m not sure about this at all. I’ll think about it,” said Dale.
“Just do it, dude,” said Brad, “We won’t get another chance like this for ages.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right. It just might work, said Dale.
“It will. We tell both parents at the same time. They’ll all have to accept it.”
“Okay then,” said Dale, “We’ll do it. Sunday morning.”
“Right,” said Brad, “Now give me a kiss.”
The boys rolled around on top of the bed and each other.
After they had a hot shower and ate their supper, they were clearing the table when Patricia said, “Why don’t you two go to that new movie?”
“It’s my turn to do the dishes,” said Dale.
“I’ll do them,” said Patricia.
Brad and Dale looked at each other. “Are you feeling okay, Sis?’ asked Dale.
He had never had a really close relationship with his sister, but they never got into the usual rival sibling fights either. They just kept to their separate lives, separate friends and never bothered each other. So Dale was really surprised when his sister offered to do the dishes. What he didn’t know was that Patricia adored her little brother from the day he was born and she wanted to help him and Brad over the hurdle of coming out to their parents.
“Err, that’s really nice of you Patricia,” said Brad in his sweetest voice.
“It’s okay guys, you can pay me back next weekend,” she said.
“Thanks, Sis,” said Dale as the two boys left the house.
Patricia sighed with relief; she wanted the boys out of the house so she could speak to her parents without them there.
“That was really nice of you, Patricia,” said her mum, ‘I’ll give you a hand.”
“It’s okay, Mum, you go and sit with Dad and watch TV. I’ll bring in some coffee after I’m done in the kitchen.”
“Well, if you’re sure, dear, that would be nice.”
Twenty minutes later, Patricia joined her parents in the living room.
She placed a tray with coffee and cups on the small table in the centre of the room.
“The service is quite good here, isn’t it, Edith?” her dad said to his wife.
“I was just thinking the same thing,” said Edith
“Okay, Patty,” said her dad, using his pet name for her, “What’s all this leading up to? You’re not pregnant, are you?”
“Jasper Thompson, you take that back,” said his wife with a disgusted look. “What a thing to say. You are awful.” Edith turned to her daughter, “You’re not pregnant, dear, are you? Are you?”
“No, Mum, and thanks for the vote of confidence. You both know I am quite bedroom trained.”
“Spare us the details please,” said her dad.
“Well what’s this all about?” asked Edith, ignoring Jasper’s remark.
“I wanted to talk to both of you about Dale and Brad,” said Patricia.
“Oh dear,” said her mum, watching her husband out of the corner of her eye, "they haven’t gone and got each other pregnant have they?”
“Edith!” shouted her husband, “and you reckon I’m awful.”
Patricia rolled her eyes. No wonder she didn’t often bring her boyfriends home.
Edith smiled to herself, pleased she had managed to get a rise from her husband. They enjoyed playfully teasing each other. “Well, from all the sounds of groans and moans in the middle of the night, who knows what they are getting up to.”
“I’ve got a pretty good idea,” said Jasper.
“Let’s not go there,” said Patricia.
“Good idea,” said her mum.
“Mum, Dad. Look we all know they are gay and in love, but they’re worried sick about telling you. I overheard them talking this afternoon, and they don’t know we know, so they have come up with a plan to tell you and Brad’s parents together at tomorrow’s barbecue.”
“Do Brad’s parents know they are gay?” asked Edith.
“Of course they know,” said Jasper, “It’s as obvious to them as it is to us.”
“Are they okay with it, Jasper?” asked Edith.
“I haven’t really gone into detail about it with them. Of course they know they are gay, but I’m not sure they know they are lovers. I think they’re a bit worried about it.”
“Worried?” said Edith.
“Yeah well, you know, living a lonely life, the threat of disease, the ridicule from others, no promotions at work, questioning the meaning of existence, burning in hell for eternity, wasting money on fashions…the usual concerns.”
“Burning in hell, are they religious? I didn’t know that.” asked Edith.
“No, I just threw that in to cover all bases,” said Jasper.
“Jasper, we’ve got to help them,” said Edith with some annoyance at her husband’s flippancy.
“I could have a talk to the boys,” said Jasper, “tell them we don’t mind if they are using their naked….”
“Dad, please you’re not helping,” said Patricia, “they are very worried how you and mum will react. You need to do something to make it easier for them to tell you all on Sunday.”
“Alright, your mother and I could go over to see Brad’s parents; put our heads together to see what we can do. What do you say, Edith?”
“That might be a good idea. We could work out a way to make it easier for the boys. I’ll give Mavis a ring and see if we can go over there now.”
“No, dear, it is we who should thank you. Will you come with us to the Gordon’s?”
“No, Mum, I’m expecting my new boyfriend to call later.”
“Tell him to stay for the barbecue,” said Jasper, “No need for him to run off afterwards.”
“Dad!” said Patricia blushing.
“Jasper Thompson you are absolutely awful,” said Edith, with a smirk on her face.
Mavis Gordon hung up the phone. She had a serious look on her face.
“What’s wrong dear?” said her husband Max, “Not bad news I hope?”
“No, I don’t think so. That was Edith Thompson. She and Jasper are coming over shortly. They want to talk to us about Brad and Dale.”
“Oh no, what have those two been up to now?” he said.
“I don’t think there’s a disaster or anything. Edith just said we all needed to talk. They’ll be here soon. I’ll make some tea.”
“I’ll get some beer,” said Max.
A few minutes later, the doorbell rang and Max ushered his neighbours into his small but neat living room.
“How are you both? You look a little worried,” he said, looking at Jasper.
“We wanted to talk to you about the kids,” said Jasper as he sat down, “Patricia, our daughter, gave us some worrying news tonight.”
“Oh dear, she’s not pregnant is she?” asked Mavis as she poured the tea for herself and Edith.
“Nothing like that,” said Jasper as he took a sip from the beer that Max Gordon had given him, “Patricia heard our boys talking today, and well, you both know about them don’t you? They are very fond of each other.”
“That’s one way to put it,” said Max.
The Gordons shifted in their seats a little and Mavis broke the slightly uncomfortable silence, “Yes, we know. We weren’t quite certain if you two knew though.”
“I told you they did,” said Max.
“Yes,” said Mavis, “but you think everyone knows.”
Jasper looked at Edith and raised an eyebrow.
“Are you both okay with it, I mean, Dale and Brad being gay and all?” asked Jasper.
“Are you?” asked Max with an expression that revealed nothing of how he felt.
“I asked you first,” said Jasper.
“Yeah?” said Max, “Well I don’t know why you are asking at all. Brad is our son and we love him. I don’t care what you say about him being gay, I will not have you implying that our son turned your boy gay. They are who they are and that is all there is to it.”
Jasper jumped to his feet. “Max, I never meant to imply anything of the kind. We just wanted to make sure you knew and were okay with it.”
Edith placed her cup in its saucer as she turned to see Mavis looking a little wide-eyed at their husbands.
“Calm down, you two,” said Edith to the two men, “Jasper and I don’t think anyone is to blame for their sexuality. We accept the way they are.”
“So Edith, you approve the boys’ friendship, then?” asked Mavis, somewhat relieved.
“Yes, of course we do,” answered Edith.
“Then what are we talking about?” asked Max.
“Patricia overheard Brad and Dale talking today. It seems that they are going through a tough time trying to work out how and when they should tell us they are gay,” said Jasper.
“And lovers,” said Edith.
“So,” continued Jasper, ignoring his wife, “They have come up with the idea of telling all of us at Sunday’s barbecue. We came over here to see if we could find a way to make it easier for the boys to tell us. You know, take the tension off them so they feel comfortable with their announcement.”
“I see,” said Mavis.
“Well I don’t,” said Max, “all they have to do is tell us, it’s no big deal.”
“It is to them, Max,” said Jasper, “They’re frightened how we will react.”
“React!” shouted Max, “Why the hell would they be frightened? We love our kids. They don’t have to be frightened about anything.”
“That’s just it, they don’t know that,” said Edith calmly, in the hope of stopping Max’s shouting.
Max stood up and started to pace around in a circle, which wasn’t easy in such a small room with three other people. Jasper looked at the wear pattern in the carpet. Evidently this was a habit that Max did often.
Mavis turned to Edith and said, “So you think we need to make it easier for our sons to tell us they are gay.”
“Yes, we do,” said Edith.
“And that they are boyfriends,” said Jasper, making sure he got in the last word.
“What can we do?” asked Mavis. “Max? Can you think of anything?”
“Just let me think, Mavis, I’m working on it,“ said Max as he paced around the room.
Everyone stopped talking. They could hear Max breathing, almost muttering to himself as he wore the carpet down.
Mavis stood up to pour herself and Edith some more tea. “Perhaps we should just tell them we know and are okay with it.”
“You can’t do that,” shouted Max, “You’d be taking away their independence. No, we have to let them tell us. The problem is how we can get them to feel safe about it.”
“That’s what I said,” Jasper whispered under his breath.
“I’ve got it,” said Max.
“Oh! Good,” said Mavis as she sat back into her chair.
“Well, spill it,” said Jasper, “what have you thought up?”
“Sunday, tomorrow, is April the first, April Fools’ Day.”
“Yeah, so?” said Jasper.
“Well, don’t you see, it gives a cover for helping the boys?”
“How?” asked Edith.
“All right, here is what we do. We parents all cross-dress for the day.”
“Cross-dress?” queried Mavis.
“Yes, you know. I will wear one of your old dresses and you can wear one of my overalls or something. Edith and Jasper can do likewise.”
Edith’s eyes widened and Jasper’s jaw fell open.
“Exactly how is this going to help the boys?” asked Mavis.
“Don’t you see? We tell them we dressed like that to show we accept gay and lesbian people because we are all secretly gay. Then when the boys tell us they are gay, we can confess our cross-dressing was an April Fools’ Day prank to help them tell us.”
”So we don’t have to really be gay, then?” asked Mavis.
“Of course not.”
“Oh,” said Mavis.
“It just might work,” said Edith.
“Are you all mad?” said Jasper. “You want me to wear one of Edith’s dresses? My God, look at her, she’s got a sixteen inch waist; I’ll never get into one of her dresses. This is nuts!”
“Look at it this way, Jasper,” said Edith, “Dale is always playing April Fools’ Day pranks on us and this year we will have one on him as well as helping him and Brad come out.”
“I could lend you one of my sarongs, Jasper,” said Edith, “they would fit you.”
Mavis stood up and went over to Jasper and looked him up and down. “Yes, I think the one with the yellow and red floral print on the black background would suit you.”
“That would be perfect,” said Max.
“Jasper?” said Edith, “It’s for the boys.”
“It’ll be fun, Jasper,” said Max.
“All right then,” said Jasper, ‘I’ll wear a dress, but only because of the boys.”
“Of course, dear, wear a dress for the boys!” laughed Edith and they all joined in with her.
Sunday morning was an early start for Dale and Brad. They had been awake till quite late discussing their plan to come out to their parents. They had decided to dress up for the occasion. Normally they would have worn their casual weekend clothes, cut-off jeans and armless muscle shirts with sock-less sneakers. It seemed to them that it would have a better effect if they looked better dressed, so they both wore neat dress slacks and an open neck shirt. Brad’s shirt was white and showed off his tan with his straight black hair completing a striking image of the youth. Dale had chosen a pale blue shirt to match his eyes. His curly red hair made a very eye-catching contrast.
The two boys held each other’s hands just inside Dale’s bedroom where they had spent the night.
“Are we ready?” asked Brad.
“As ready as we ever will be I suppose,” answered Dale.
“I love you,” they both said together and opened the door.
Patricia was standing there in the hallway in a passionate embrace with her latest boyfriend.
“Oops! Sorry,“ said Dale.
“It’s okay,” said Patricia, “this is Jacques; he’s French.”
“I could tell from the way he was kissing you,” said Dale.
“Take no notice of them,” said Patricia to Jacques.
Jacques smiled, “Zat was very funnee. You must be Dale and that would mean ze stud is your boy-friend…”
“Brad, his name is Brad,” said Patricia, “and keep your hands off him, you belong to me.”
Jacques winked at both boys and let himself be towed away by Patricia towards the kitchen.
They both watched Jacques’s diminutive butt slink away with all the elegance of a ballet dancer on the turn.
“She sure knows how to pick them,” said Brad when they were out of earshot.
“Yes, Patricia has excellent taste in men, and she seems to be intent on tasting as many as she can,” replied Dale.
“Jealous?” asked Brad.
“No, but I think he is,” said Dale.
“No way!” said Brad.
“She likes bisexuals. She says they make love better than straight guys.”
“Too much Information,” said Brad as they walked to the kitchen.
Patricia suddenly reappeared at the doorway and looked aghast. “Brad, your parents are here,” she told him.
“Already?’ he said, “I didn’t think they would be here till nearer lunchtime.”
“Just be prepared,” whispered Patricia as a hand in the doorway pulled her away.
“What does she mean?” said Brad as Dale guided him towards the doorway.
“Here we go,” he said and they walked into the kitchen.
Dale glimpsed what he thought was his father bending over into the fridge. His mother, he thought, was sitting at the table reading the Sunday paper. Alongside him, also reading sections of the Sunday paper, were Brad’s mum and dad.
At least they assumed it was their mums and dads by the clothing they could see sticking out from around the edges of the paper they were reading. Dale’s mother seemed to be wearing a sarong which Brad recognised as belonging to his mum. He scratched his head.
The figure at the fridge turned around and the boys saw it was Dale’s mum wearing jeans and a t-shirt. At that same moment the others dropped down their newspapers.
“Good morning boys,” they all said, looking at the two boys.
“M-m-morning,” said Brad and Dale as they looked in astonishment at their parents’ clothes.
“My word, you boys look all dressed up today,” said Mavis.
“We’re not the only ones, it would seem,” said Brad.
Max Johnson stood up from his chair. Max was not a very big man. Perhaps that explained his need to shout whenever he got excited. Right now, he was more nervous than excited. In addition, his choice of frock a was bit unfortunate as the pink chiffon material tended to cling to his hairy legs, causing it to bunch up around his thighs. “Boys,” said Max, “there are some things you don’t know about us, your parents.”
“Zis should be very interes-ting,” said Jacques to Patricia at the other end of the table.
“Quiet,” said Patricia who had no idea what was happening. No one had the opportunity to tell her as she had been in her bedroom with Jacques all night.
“We have something we want to tell you,” continued Max.
“Yes, I think you do,” said Brad, his face ashen with shock.
For the event, Jasper had chosen the sarong that Mavis recommended for him over a white blouse with a plunging neckline that revealed a lovely chest of thick masculine greying hair. His black-rimmed square glasses looked somewhat out of place, as did his morning stubble. He had refused to shave, as it was Sunday. He never shaved on Sundays.
“Dad, is that you?” stammered Dale with concern.
“Everyone, sit down,” said Edith as she placed a large plate of sausages and bacon on the table.
Dale and Brad just stood there, not daring to move; frozen in a zone of disbelief.
“Sit!” roared Max, and both boys snapped out of their staring and sat down.
“Jassy, would you pass the sauce please,” said Max to Jasper in a now-subdued falsetto voice.
“Only if I can call you Maxine,” said Jasper, sweetly.
“All right you two, cut it out and get on with it,” said Mavis, in a butch voice that surprised if not scared everyone.
“Dad? You have something to tell us?” said Brad.
“I’m not sure I want to hear it,” said Dale, still in a state of shock.
“Well I do,” said Jacques. Patricia elbowed him in the ribs to be still.
“The time has come for us to tell you boys that things are not what they seem,” Max began, as if he was addressing the nation, “Our children are the results of our unions in marriage. Now that you have grown up, it is time for you, our sons, to know that we, the members of your families, your fathers, your mothers, your parents, some years ago, during the formative time of our youth, did partake in many and varied lifestyles….”
“For God’s sake, Max,” shouted Mavis, “what do you think you are doing, reciting the Gettysburg Address? Just get on with it and tell them.”
“Tell us what, Mum, err Dad?” asked Brad.
Mavis rolled up her flannelette shirt sleeves as she stood. She hitched her overalls up as she looked at the boys and announced, “We are gay. We are all gay…and lesbian.”
“Zat would explain a lot,” said Jacques.
“Sure would,” said Patricia, “so it is hereditary.”
Dale heard his sister and began to piece together what was happening.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Edith, “are you gay too Patricia?”
“Not so far,” said Jacques.
“Follow my lead,” Dale whispered to Brad.
“So are you and Dad a couple, then?” Dale said to Max.
“Oh, yes, yes that would be us,” said Max.
“Mum, are you and Mavis, I mean Mrs Gordon, lovers?” asked Dale.
“Well, I guess you could say that, dear, yes,” she replied.
“Brad,” said Dale, looking at his boyfriend in the eye, “It is time for us to tell them.”
“If you say so,” said Brad.
“Tell us what?” said Edith, as she winked at the others.
“First,” said Dale, “Brad and I want you all to know we are okay with this, in fact we think it is really great that you have all made so many sacrifices over the years since we were born, so we could have a normal upbringing.”
“Yeah,” added Brad, “We will never let who you are get in the way of our love for you.”
“You are our parents,” said Dale, “and if you are gay we still love you, forever, unconditionally. Now, just so you know that we don’t mind, so that you can be sure in your hearts, we want to see you kiss each other.”
“Kiss?” said Max and Jasper at the same time.
“Yes,” said Brad, “Go on, give each other a kiss.”
“Whilst we watch,” said Dale, “So you know we are okay with it and don’t have any objections.”
Mavis and Edith leant towards each other and kissed as women do, cheek to cheek.
“Not like that, Mum. Kiss her like you mean it.”
The two women nodded to each other and kissed in an embrace.
“Dad?” said Dale.
“Max.” Growled Mavis.
“But, but,” said Max.
“If we did it, so can you two,” said Edith.
With that, both men stood before each other, their eyes seeking some form of permission to proceed. Finally, Max could stand it no longer and he grabbed Jasper, leant him backwards, bent over him and planted a most amorous kiss on his lips.
“Vive la France,” said Jacques as he turned to Patricia, “You have a very European family.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” she confided in him.
“Wow,” said Jasper as he straightened himself up after Max kissed him.
“April Fools,” shouted Brad and Dale together as they jumped to their feet.
“You knew?” said Edith, “How did they know?” The parents all shrugged their shoulders.
“Boys, don’t you have something else to say?” said Patricia.
“Oh yes,” said Dale, nudging Brad and both of them announced together,” We’re gay and we’re boyfriends….”
“And you didn’t fool us for a minute,” continued Brad.
“How did you know?” asked Jasper.
“Well, I didn’t at first, but it was obvious you were all uncomfortable in drag. I got suspicious when Brad’s mum said you were all gay. I guessed then you knew about us. It was the only plausible explanation for you carrying on as you did,” said Dale.
“We just love that you went to so much trouble for us,” said Brad.
“That just leaves one thing more to say,” said Max, “everybody now at the same time, one, two, three….”
And they all shouted out together….
Brad and Dale were pulled into a group hug with much love and laughter.
“What happened?” said Jacques.
“I’ll explain later,” said Patricia, “but I can tell you this; everything has turned out just as it should.”